Wednesday, January 30, 2008
yiying says: its the same thing
ghislene; says:
i cooler
ghislene; says:
neh neh ni boo boo
yiying says:
HAHAHAAAAHHAHAHHAHAHAH
Ghislene is childish.
My back pain is back again, and i feel old. As stupid as it sounds, i'm still going to go for trainings hoping that it'll just get better with time. My performance recently have been really disappointing and i know i won't feel right until i've fixed it. I can't leave things as they are. Nobody knows the stress that i feel. I feel so pressured at trainings, it's taken the fun out of the soccer. When i see the others' improving, i'm afraid, because everyone is leaping forward while i'm left behind. My deepest fear is my inability.
All i want is their approval.
;6:28 AM
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Road Race. Ran 3.3km. Soccer girls did well. Atlas became champions. Roller Blading with Jane. (Hilarious.) Craved for something cold so we had B&J at White Sands. Intended to go TM for sushi but both felt too lazy to get off the train. Lunch FINALLY at 2.30, Teppanyaki (I think that's how to spell it) at Terminal 3. Wanted to play with the sky train but someone didn't let me. Home. "Fainted" on my bed. :/
;11:26 PM
I think that i'm ostentatious and thinking about it now, makes me feel all stupid. I want to be me. Like how i'm like with cass or syuhaidah or my secondary school friends. Completely at ease. Not afraid to cry when i'm sad or make a big fool out of myself. But somehow i can't. If you think i'm quiet, then you don't know me at all.
The team is so split. It's so obvious, and you're blind if you don't see it. I don't think it's bad, because we do come together when need be. I just think it's weird.
I wonder if they're thinking what i think they're thinking. I wonder if i'm thinking too much about everything. I wonder if i should just ignore what i think they think and start caring about what i think. Think. Think. Think. I think my period is coming, because i'm thinking too much. URGH.
We had to take a personality test for school and well this was part of my personality type analysis. "..They might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved.. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause.." I thought it was quite true. The me being a write/poet part. HAHAHAA. Hilarious. NEVER EVER.
;6:00 AM
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Right now i'm so damn fustrated with myself. What coach said, well it keeps bugging me. I know there's truth in it. It's obvious even to me. But him having to say it, just confirms everything. It feels terrible. I'm not even sure of myself anymore and i'm afraid that i won't be able to do as well as what is expected of me. But i'll try harder because i need to prove it wrong.
People keep surprising me. And in a good way. With the littlest gestures i'm already feeling like the luckiest person ever. To see their concern when i'm totally bummed, well.. it really means alot.
;11:29 PM
